There is a story about myself that I've been really wanting to share, as I have reflected over it multiple times this month. What inspired the memory to repeatedly come up, is the question of how, what, and why I even got into this? I'm usually taken aback when asked, because I think to my core and everyone's core we are spiritual. We all have some form of spirituality. To me that is to help others. So there really isn't one defining event in my life that made me more spiritual. There are little events that sparked curiosity, or deep understanding of course but I can say to my core this is simply who I am and who I've always been, even as a child.
There is one event though, that really made me think and continues to make me think. It was something I couldn't turn to a friend or google for the answer. It was life changing, and drove my curiosity to know more. It was also a moment when I knew this was more than myself, and that this was part of my life purpose. I still don't fully understand it, each year I think I understand a little bit more.
It was late summer of 2014, early enough in the morning at least for a 21 year old standards. I had woken up somewhere around 5:30 & 6:00am. Knowing I had a long day ahead of me, and still not feeling really awake I decided to crawl back in bed. I laid there for what felt like forever, feeling restless in my mind. Now this is important, in my mind I was still awake completely unaware that my body was fast asleep curled up in a ball. So I decided, what the heck I'll try meditation like we do after yoga class. I got up and grabbed some crystals my friend gave me, that were supposed to awaken the 3rd eye. At this point I was curious of this world but not sold; fully believing nothing would happen. Laying back down in a classic savasana on my bed, I closed my eye and began to meditate, with two tiny crystal in each hand. The space between my forehead began to tingle, which was normal. I tried to focus on it more then usual though. In that moment a portal in that space opened, (pause I know this sounds like some crazy hippie adventure but I assure you I was 100% sober), so back to this hole that was growing into my forehead. There are three things I remember clearly about this "portal", ringing in my ears, a strong vibration around my body, and the colors of the rainbow surrounding me. As I zapped though this tunnel of rainbow I came out in what appeared to be space. I was surrounded by stars but I was also not alone. There waiting was a single being, silver from head to toe with only eyes, and lashes like giant feathers. The being was angelic. (I'm going to use the prefix she/her but I really believe she was more on the non-binary scare of things, as I don't think reproduction is a thing. Overall, she felt feminine to me in nature, so that why she is a she to me.) She began to speak to me, the words were beautiful. When they were spoken it was if my whole body felt the meaning, not my mind at all. As one word ended another began, felt like a poem, almost. Actually it wasn't until my mind kicked in that I realized this wasn't English at all, how am I understanding any of this? But I did, the message doesn't translate to English, as it was more complex then the simple words I'm about to describe it with.
The message is simple, we are love, love is our core, it is the energy that fuels us. When we feel lost, confused, frustrated we turn to love and the answer will always be. She then went on to explain that each one of us, under all the layers of sadness, greed, guilt, jealously, anger, pain, suffering, illness, trauma, we simply are a being of love. No matter how far someone seems off the track of love to the core they actually are simply love. It was somewhere around her in the message my mind kicked in, and I recognized this was not English.
The moment my mind took over I was through that portal as fast as I came, ringing was back in my ears and my body was as if it wasn't mine. I had to pry my eyes to open, I felt paralyzed for a moment. Fully expecting myself to be in savasana with two crystals in hand upon opening my eye, I was surprised to awaken curled up in a ball no rocks to be seen because they were still sitting in my desk on the other side of the room.
I was defiantly worried when I woke up, I cannot say I came out feel enlightened and ready to share with the world this crazy thing that happened to me. Instead I turned inward, I developed a strong meditation practice, I read so many books on metaphysics, spirituality, I even started one on Aliens, never finished. I also shared my story with a few people I knew who would be interested and understand.
Reflecting back, I have learned this, that being was me. We all have a higher self. This higher self is your own personal assistant of God. They are the one who hold the knowledge and truth that is you. They are the core of every decision you make, every thought you have, every experience you live. They see the bigger picture as they know all options. And everyone in this world has the ability to connect to their higher being. They don't need crystal, they don't need to mediate. All you need is to sit in love and ask to connect.
The other bigger message I have learned, when things feel hard or you feel like you've lost sight of things, connecting with love is the simplest and fastest way to feel grounded and clear the mind. I know this type of love might not be something everyone easily can sit with. It is true unconditional love, a love our culture doesn't really have a name for. In pop-culture this is the self-love, all the Instagram influencers are trying to market to you. I laugh because this love isn't outside of you, you have had it all along. And it is the connection to the higher-self, the soul, the heavens, or holy spirit that we all have. Being human is what is complex being a soul is simple. It is the body and mind that complicate matters.
If you have read my story, thank you. I think it is an important part of who I am, my authentic self. I hope it inspires you to accept a part of you that you may feel vulnerable sharing. This is the energy I channel in my work, whether it is a Reiki session, distance Reiki, astrology reading, any reading, or class, this is the energy I work with.
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